Today is 20 November

BEER FINES

1. An unwritten law, one as immutable and irrefutable as gravity and backed by history, states that skydivers enjoy the drinking of beer almost as much as flight itself.

2. A manifestation of this fact is the tradition of the buying by an individual skydiver a case of beer (that being twenty-four cans or bottles holding twelve or more ounces of beer, ale, or some similar such substance) for his or her fellow jumpers to celebrate the accomplishment of a particular feat or milestone in one's jump career.

3. It is generally recognized that the buying and drinking of such beer enhances that common bond shared by skydivers and contributes greatly to the body of knowledge concerning parachuting and its related activities.

4. It is a sad fact that some skydivers are ignorant of what constitutes a significant achievement (usually and henceforth referred to as a "first"). Equally sad is the fact that some unscrupulously thirsty jumpers will shamelessly try to "weasel" a case of beer out of a jumper for an inauspicious event.

5. Recognizing this, the following happenings are to be regarded as suitable occasions for buying beer. This list is not to be construed as exhaustive.

6. First jump (It is not required of students. They are simply encouraged to participate).

7. If more than one first is accomplished on a single jump, only one case of beer is required.

8. Participation is voluntary. If a skydiver chooses not to participate by buying, neither shall the skydiver enjoy the fruits of the accomplishments of others.

9. Having "sexual relations" with a skydiving instructor!

10. Non-drinkers may buy sodas and buyers may make up any part or whole of their purchase in soda for the enjoyment of those non-drinkers.

11. It is generally recognized that using a reserve parachute for the purpose of saving one's worthless, non-packing self from a gory death requires him to buy the saving rigger dinner or the bottle of liquor of his choice.

12. These articles are ironclad and binding. For the price of an additional six-pack, a sniveling skydiver may enlist the services of an S & TA to represent him or her in a hearing where the committee will rule against that skydiver a second time.
    • Off Landings!
    • Completing the student course of instruction
    • First four way
    • First eight way
    • First CRW
    • First time in the peas
    • First night jump
    • First kiss pass
    • First competition
    • First water jump
    • First naked jump
    • First jump on your own pack job
    • First dead center (measured by a judge or electronic scoring pad on a three or five cm disc)
    • First jump on a new main or new rig (purchased, not borrowed)
    • Any license, award, rating, or badge
    • Getting your name or photo in "Parachutist" Magazine
    • Gross safety violations not resulting in serious injury or death
    • Any jump ending in "00"
    • First cutaway/reserve ride
    • First jump from an aircraft not normally used at home drop zone
    • First jump at a new drop zone
    • First demo jump
    • First save (you riggers thought you were getting off easy)
    • Vomiting in the airplane or on another skydiver
    • First round canopy jump (Geez, used to be the other way around)
    • First broken bone
    • First camera jump